How to deal with a crowd of zombies

Continuing my thoughts from this post, the correct way to deal with a crowd of zombies is probably with fire: go over them with a helicopter and drop napalm.

If that’s not practical because it will burn down your city, then put your troops out of reach, very heavily armed, and in a position to be evacuated or resupplied, and let them shoot zombies until they run out of zombies. Here again, helicopters are the way to go. Put your people on a flat roof with access barred such that zombies can’t get up there (remove ladders, barricade access doors, etc.) and put them to work disposing of zombies. Flame throwers might be good here too if you weren’t at risk of burning down the city or trapping your troops.

If you can’t even do this (maybe you don’t have helicopters), then you’ll have to begin by removing zombies from the streets. For that, you need proper vehicles. Tanks and APCs may sound like the way to go, but tanks are rare and aren’t all that helpful anyway, and APCs are going to be hard to find. Pickup trucks, on the other hand …

What I imagine for a zombie-fighting vehicle is a pickup truck with what amounts to a good sturdy metal cage welded over the bed, with bars close enough together that even a child’s hand won’t fit through but a pistol or rifle barrel will. All windows, including the windscreen, likewise have a cage welded over them. Put a couple of men in the bed with plenty of weapons and ammo, plus a driver and someone riding shotgun (literally in this case!) both also with plenty of weapons and armor. You make sure the tires are “run-flat”, you have ample fuel, and everyone is in hazmat suits in case they get spattered.

On top of the zombie-fighting vehicle you mount a loudspeaker so as you drive along, you play an announcement:

Stay away from this vehicle! We are hunting zombies! If you approach this vehicle you may be attacked by zombies or shot by mistake! Stay away from this vehicle!

Repeat in as many languages as you can find speakers for.

Zombies are stupid and they are attracted to human voices. They will come a-running from wherever they might be hanging out, and they will be shot by the men in back. If too many come, you drive hard through them and simply outrun them. Driving through a crowd with a normal pickup risks someone coming through the windscreen, but that’s what the cages are for.

Mowing down zombies from a safe location or a pickup truck will be very traumatic for your troops, but a lot less traumatic than being overrun by zombies!